The following is a copy of my Craigslist post, listing our Elliptical machine for sale a while back:
She PROMISED me that she would use it, that she would take full advantage of its incredibly smooth, impact-free, elliptical path. So we located a pallet-on-wheels (Costco) and proceeded to adopt the only piece of furniture that would boast adjustable resistance AND incline, at the push of a button.
We settled the RL 900 Elliptical Exercise Machine into our now-finished basement, with a front row view of my 58" Plasma TV. Now how could she resist the daily use of the Handgrip Pulse Sensor, multi-speed fans, and water bottle holder? Burning fat and boosting endorphin levels would be a perspiratory treat while watching all those Oprah's that keep knocking my sci-fi movies off of the DVR.
Time passed, and the RL 900 found use; as a pretend tree for the kids, an obstruction for large groups of movie watchers, and an exercise machine on rare occasions. I gave up pleading with my wife to exercise on the $500 (now $350!) machine. Men take note: pleading with your wife to exercise MAY come across as, oh I don't know, piggish, even when only thinking of the unused investment.
It turns out that her aversion to the well-maintained RL 900 had nothing to do with the machine, or her already sweet figure, or my sci-fi movies. She doesn't like BASEMENTS! There it is. That's why it has remained in good condition and slightly unloved. So, I tuned up her mountain bike and she rides it often with the kids, outside. Does anyone want a good Elliptical Machine?
Is this a picture of:
a) A serial killer with some strange, insatiable fetish?
b) That programmer that's been with the company for years?
c) A direct marketing and copywriting guru?
The answer is HERE.
Why Think Tanks Are Awesome
1. You can name them anything you like, regardless of their purpose. See List.
2. NPR interviews you on a monthly basis.
3. Have you ever heard of a "Work Tank," or a "Do Stuff Tank?" Nope. With Think Tanks, you just sit in conference rooms and THINK.
4. Since Think Tanks can only exist near the nation's capital, you're alway near cool museums and historical places and stuff.
Best name: Institute on the Study of War (Who DOESN'T think of a giant map-table in a hazy, windowless office?)
Runner up: Cato Institute (thanks to the OJ debacle.)
Worst name: Show-Me Institute (Sounds like people who don't think)
Runner up: Foundation for Rational Economics and Education (see reason #1, why Think Tanks are Awesome)
Now, where can I find a Think Tank Application Form?